Tag Archives: unrealistic love goals

Tips On Overcoming Neediness In Love Relationships

Neediness In LoveDo you believe that everyone else around you is happily secure in relationships? Have they all got the answers to life that you seem to be missing?

Do you mistakenly believe that you are lacking something in your being that makes you unlovable?

Are you holding on for dear life as if your love will leave if you lift your thumb off them for one moment? Are you feeling ridiculously needy?

Everyone else is just like you on the inside, sharing insecurities and wanting more in life. Sometimes we just need a little shift in attitude to take our insecurities to a more healthy level. In relationships these insecurities can make us feel needy and clingy. What you need to do is to think back to what activities you enjoyed before the relationship.

Did you play guitar in a band, have a passion for biking, playing hoops with the guys, or did you like swimming every morning? What happens for everyone is something called the honeymoon period.

It is that time when people are at the beginning of a relationship and they are addicted to the love. It is all coming together and fresh and new.

For some people, the honeymoon extends. Yet, instead of it maintaining its pleasantness, it becomes a burden, where they hand over their personal freedom to become ‘owned’ by the other person.

The other party in the relationship may not even realise that you are treating yourself like their possession at first. But, that is the underlying dynamic that is occurring when you become needy in a love relationship.

The Danger Zone

Smothering Love

The individual enters the danger zone when they expect that the one they love will supply all of their joy and love. That is an unrealistic expectation. Once again try to think back to before your relationship. You probably compartmentalised a bit and allowed different people and activities to fulfill different needs.

Fast forward to the relationship and now you are dumping friends and activities and putting all of that expectation onto one person. Might you anticipate then that the one you love might be exhausted from having to shoulder such a heavy responsibility?

The remedy is to re-focus and re-prioritise so that the relationship is given perspective. Get plenty of exercise, have some hobbies outside of the relationship to re-balance your love relationship.